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MY LONELY PLANET我今天 我明天 最想环游的世界 2/1/2010 forward: how to identify losers in relationships1. Rough Treatment
Male losers often begin with behaviors that move you physically or hit the wall. Female losers often slap, kick and even punch their male partners when upset.
2. Quick Attachment and Expression
It's true that we can become infatuated with others quickly - but not make such unrealistic promises and have the future planned after three dates. The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later cause "The Loser" to detach from you as quickly as they committed.
3. Frightening Temper
"The Loser" has a scary temper. If your boyfriend or girlfriend blows up and does dangerous things, like driving too fast because they're mad, breaking/throwing things, getting into fights, or threatening others - that temper will soon be turned in your direction.
4. Killing Your Self-Confidence
"The Loser" repeatedly puts you down. They constantly correct your slight mistakes, making you feel "on guard", unintelligent, and leaving you with the feeling that you are always doing something wrong.
5. Cutting Off Your Support
In order to control someone completely, you must cut off their supportive friends - sometimes even their family. "The Loser" feels your friends and family might influence you or offer negative opinions about their behavior. Once you are isolated and alone, without support, their control over you can increase.
6. The Mean and Sweet Cycle
"The Loser" cycles from mean to sweet and back again. The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean. You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor. Suddenly, the next day they become sweet, doing all those little things they did when you started dating. "The Loser" often apologizes but the damage to your self-esteem is already done - exactly as planned.
7. It's Always Your Fault
"The Loser" blames you for their anger as well as any other behavior that is incorrect. When they cheat on you, yell at you, treat you badly, damage your property, or embarrass you publicly - it's somehow your fault. "The Loser" never, repeat "never", takes personal responsibility for their behavior - it's always the fault of someone else.
8. Breakup Panic
"The Loser" panics at the idea of breaking up - unless it's totally their idea - then you're dropped like a hot rock. Abusive boyfriends often break down and cry, they plead, they promise to change, and they offer marriage/trips/gifts when you threaten ending the relationship.
9. No Outside Interests
"The Loser" will encourage you to drop your hobbies, interests, and involvement with others. If you have an individual activity, they demand that they accompany you, making you feel miserable during the entire activity.
10. Paranoid Control
"The Loser" will check up on you and keep track of where you are and who you are with. If you speak to a member of the opposite sex, you receive twenty questions about how you know them. If you don't answer their phone call, you are ask where you were, what were you doing, who you were talking to, etc. If no date is present on Friday night - "The Loser" will inform you that they will call you that night - sometime. That effectively keeps you home, awaiting the call, fearing the verbal abuse and questions you might receive if you weren't home for the call. This technique allows "The Loser" to do what they want socially, at the same time controlling your behavior from a distance or a local bar.
11. Public Embarrassment
When in public, you quickly learn that any opinion you express may cause them to verbally attack you, either at the time or later. If you stay with "The Loser" too long, you'll soon find yourself politely smiling, saying nothing, and holding on to their arm when in public.
12. It's Never Enough
"The Loser" convinces you that you are never quite good enough. You don't say "I love you" enough, you don't stand close enough, you don't do enough for them after all their sacrifices, and your behavior always falls short of what is expected. This is another method of destroying your self-esteem and confidence.
13. Entitlement
"The Loser" has a tremendous sense of entitlement, the attitude that they have a perfectly logical right to do whatever they desire.
14. Your Friends and Family Dislike Him
As the relationship continues, your friends and family will see what "The Loser" is doing to you. They will notice a change in your personality or your withdrawal. They will protest. "The Loser" will tell you they are jealous of the "special love" you have and then use their protest and opinion as further evidence that they are against you - not him.
15. Bad Stories
"The Loser" tells stories of violence, aggression, being insensitive to others, rejecting others, etc. They may tell you about past relationships and in every case, they assure you that they were treated horribly despite how wonderful they were to that person.
16. The Waitress Test
It's been said that when dating, the way an individual treats a waitress or other neutral person of the opposite sex is the way they will treat you in six months. During the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship, you will be treated like a king or queen. However, during that time "The Loser" has not forgotten how he or she basically feels about the opposite sex. If they are cheap - you'll never receive anything once the honeymoon is over.
17. The Reputation
"The Loser" may have two distinct reputations - a group of individuals who will give you glowing reports and a group that will warn you that they are serious trouble. If the reputation has two sides, good and bad, your risk is high. You will be dealing with the bad side once the honeymoon is over in the relationship.
18. Walking on Eggshells
Instead of experiencing the warmth and comfort of love, you will be constantly on edge, tense when talking to others (they might say something that you'll have to explain later), and fearful that you'll see someone you'll have to greet in public.
19. Discounted Feelings/Opinions
"The Loser" is so self-involved and self-worshiping that the feelings and opinions of others are considered worthless.
20. They Make You "Crazy"
You become paranoid as well - being careful what you wear and say. Nonviolent males find themselves in physical fights with female losers. Nonviolent females find themselves yelling and screaming when they can no longer take the verbal abuse or intimidation. In emotional and physical self-defense, we behave differently and oddly. 1/26/2010 all about girl ashley以前住在deming的时候 ashley时常来我家蹭饭
她很容易满足 煮一锅鸡汤就能让她兴奋不已
然后她搬了新家 我也搬了新家
厨房变宽敞很多 但给她烧饭的机会却变少
今晚难得又做好饭菜等她来 开门看见她冒着风雪却依然热切期待的笑脸
随便聊聊天 话题却又涉及有点伤感的分别
回想在这里的时光 好像美好的回忆里面都有她
一起过第一个感恩节 夏天的时候一起去beach 一起BBQ 一起打麻将
当然还有一起去LA一起去NY 但我们俩的合照却不多
可能因为越是亲近的人 越是觉得以后拍照机会很多 反而拍得少了吧
我开玩笑的说 等我卷铺盖走人 我家里的东西你看上什么就来拿什么
她说看上我藏的金条了 呵呵 这个ashley。。。
一直认为自己很幸运 从小到大 不同时期不同地点
都会有那么一个善良可爱 可以毫不犹豫写在emergency contact的贴心朋友
有时也会跟ashley讨论 想要做怎么样的事 想成为怎么样的人
未来会怎么样 路口到了该怎么走 的确是个困惑的问题
不过我一直觉得 明智的她 到时候一定会有自己的答案
和一个地方说goodbye 和一些人说goodbye 都不是件容易的事
但我相信 在不远的将来 又会有新的朋友 也或者是重逢的朋友 跟你微笑招手说hello 1/17/2010 纪念品为avatar贡献票房 是一件2010 must do的事情
对于电影内容本身 啥也别说了 膜拜吧
买到了折扣票 坐到了最理想的那排座位 结束后还看了另外一部NINE
顺手牵羊把AMC的3D眼镜带了回来 或许哪天能在自己电脑屏幕上看的时候还能用到
关从看电影这一角度来说 美帝人民的生活很幸福
 1/11/2010 段子人多的地方接了个手机，说句什么话能让周围人都觉得你很牛？
)1、什么？5000万元以下的审批找刘主任！
)2、我看，需要给美国政府那边施加点压力了…
)3、哎，局长，您就别查我了，我一个月交两个亿的税压力也很大呀！
)4、什么？要20吨？这东西500克就得枪毙，现在风声很紧，先给你1、2吨应急好吗?
)5、元旦过后大盘拉不回4000点你们集体滚蛋吧！
就算是Believe中间还是有个lie，就算是Friend最后还是免不了end，就算是Lover最后还是会over，就算是Forget也得先get才行，就算有Wife心里也夹杂着if.
自从深发展银行推出那条知性的广告语“只想与你深发展”后，银行业内人士又自编出了更知性的姊妹篇：“光大，是不行的”。
1、熊猫男要强奸熊猫女，熊猫女奋力抵抗、誓死不从。熊猫男失败后愤愤地说： “我们都快灭绝了耶~~~！
2、为保护国宝，熊猫馆的工作人员找了很多母熊猫，想让馆内的公熊猫与其交配。 夜，公熊猫仰天长泣：“你们就知道让我交配交配！其实，我需要的是爱情……
上海自来水来自海上，哥曾信佛但佛信曾哥
近香港街头出现一种现象，越来越多的人一接电话就说：我在香港回来再说！口气很严厉。这引起了港府当局的注意，有什么话不能在香港说呢？他们拨了一笔专项资金，来调查香港是否有沦为钳制言论自由地区的可能，最后发现，接电话的是大陆人，而大陆漫游电话费太贵。 12/31/2009 2010 new year resolutions1. get organized and don't waste time
2. keep reading books and news everyday
3. stay fit, do more exercise as swimming, jogging, and yoga
4. be a weight watcher, be on a diet every two weeks
5. take good care of my skin
6. learn one thing new (pick up guitar again?)
7. always being nice and tied to manners
8. travel
9. appreciate all the things i have
10. end up my lonely journey
12/15/2009 que sera sera, what will be will be"mary & max" 是一部给成年人看的动画
好像一片药片 幽默有趣的糖衣 包裹着一颗苦涩的心
也许体验过孤独 焦虑 无助的人
更能体会片中友情的可贵吧
那些内心化的小细节 应该会引起稍许自闭的人的共鸣
有时候也在胡思乱想 人生的本质到底是孤独还是陪伴
que sera sera, what will be will be
倒霉的事情总是出其不意地发生
不如在顺风顺水的时候多累积些宽容和关爱
 11/28/2009 Happy Thanksgiving! Miss C will be back to town on 11/30!
To pick up the stuffs belong to you in the picture above
Call me, text me, make an appointment with me!
Can't wait to see you, my sweethearts~
11/10/2009 another diet manu...lets do it again Day 1 Breakfast: Black Coffee or Tea (Sweet & Low or Equal) or Water, 1/2 Grapefruit of Juice, 1 slice Toast with 1 tbsp. Peanut Butter. Lunch: 1/2 cup of Tuna, 1 slice Toast, Black Coffee or Tea (Sweet & Low or Equal) or Water. Dinner: 3 Oz. any Lean Meat, 1 cup Green Bean, 1 cup Carrots, 1 medium Apple, 1/2 cup Vanilla Ice-ream, Black Coffee or Tea (Sweet & Low or Equal) or Water. Day 2 Breakfast: Black Coffee or Tea (Sweet & Low or Equal) or Water, 1 Egg (any style), 1 slice Toast, 1 Banana. Lunch: 1 cup Cottage Cheese or Tuna, 5 Saltine Crackers, Black Coffee or Tea (Sweet & Low or Equal) or Water. Dinner: 2 Beef Flakes or Hot Dogs, 1 cup Broccoli or Cabbage, 1/2 cup Carrots, 1 Banana, 1/2 cup Vanilla Ice-ream, Black Coffee or Tea (Sweet & Low or Equal) or Water. Day 3 Breakfast: Black Coffee or Tea (Sweet & Low or Equal) or Water, 1 oz. (slice) Cheddar Cheese, 5 regular Saltine Crackers, 1 Apple. Lunch: 1 hard boiled Egg, 1 slice Toast, Black Coffee or Tea (Sweet & Low or Equal) or Water. Dinner: 1 cup Tuna, 1 cup Cauliflower, 1 cup Carrots, 1 cup Melon, 1/2 cup regular Vanilla Ice-ream, Black Coffee or Tea (Sweet & Low or Equal) or Water. 10/2/2009 goodbye summer love一夜之间 从夏末到了深秋
收起bikini/strapless/shorts
换上黑色大衣/黑色裤子/黑色靴子
不上课不上班的下午
边打扫房间边听着网上的广播
猜想着国内发生着的事情
去年的中秋节的我 坐在地板上装着宜家的家具
今年的中秋 神啊 请赐我一枚双黄莲蓉的月饼 9/4/2009 LV, LVvegas是个神奇的城市
满眼的老虎机 霓虹灯 广告牌
花50块便可以马上结婚
火辣辣的天气 华丽丽的美女
还有散落满地的strip club小广告卡片
因为有团爸团妈同行
阿团住着超大的套房 坐着limo 吃着芝加哥吃不到的美味中餐
没有带轰爷也去享受一下 小小愧疚一下
  8/23/2009 团子生日快乐感谢团爸团妈不远万里飞来给阿团过生日
感谢ashley的礼物和生日卡 为了那张卡片 我真的有倒计时到0点时才打开
谢谢很多朋友的祝福 国内和国外的 那些收到的和没有收到的 8/19/2009 Bye bye, Demingpacking--moving--unpacking--买家具--装家具
在这里好几个朋友的热心帮忙下 终于一切收拾妥当
新家比以前大了不少 也舒适了很多
关上旧家房门的那一刻 心里还是有点不舍
还记得去年刚搬进去的时候 房间里空空如也 心里却很开心终于在美国有了自己的家
那间小小的studio 陪我一起经历了这一年间所有的事情
教堂的钟声 草地上的小兔子 友善的邻居 Deming是条非常lovely的街
搬好了新家 又是一个崭新的开始
希望自己住在这里以后也会一切好运 8/14/2009 团子游纽约在ashley极其细致和科学的计划下 两天闪电般的行程 竟然也大致逛完了全纽约
虽然和其他很多大城市一样 道路拥挤 交通堵塞
但纽约是无法复制和替代的
有的人住在上东区对着中央公园的豪宅里 偶尔欣赏欣赏窗外的美景 有的人住在各式移民的社区内 卖卖假名牌维持生计
还有哪个地方会比纽约更有包容性和多样性呢
面对太丰富多彩的生活 太多的选择 会不会觉得迷失自我
此行的污点就是朋友一起吃饭碰到个非常disgusting的阿三
我还是不得不说 阿三就是阿三 这是永恒的真理
即使我从头到尾都微笑点头 还尝试问素食的他要不要尝尝我们的tofu salad
他立刻作出惊恐无比的厌恶状 如同要给他吃毒药一般
幸好我是grace 我不是阿三 我强忍住了没有把salad扣在他头上
他用极其傲慢无礼的语气 毫无教养的谈吐 炫耀着自己有多elite 自己的朋友有多NB
我好吧 我就是mid west countryside来的女孩 我就是喜欢吃肉喜欢喝酒过"unhealthy life" 我就是have no knowledge of new york
可是在我这样平常的女孩面前 他都要拼命地显现自己的了不起 却又掩饰不了自己出身的卑微 是多么可悲的事情
还好 此行还有另外一个亮点 在街头给游客画卡通肖像的那个super cute的东北男生 白白净净斯斯文文 还长得酷似吴尊
我和ashley一致认为他有演偶像剧的潜质
花20刀微笑着看着他 让他画 本已经心满意足 画完的成品更让我惊喜了一下
不得不感叹一下 白人看多了以后 还是觉得国货好啊
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